Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!

Everything you need to know to talk about love… in Italian!

Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!

Can you speak Italian? By now, many of you have passed the beginning stages of learning how to speak Italian and can read and comprehend quite a bit of the language. Meraviglioso!

But have you tried to take the next step to speak Italian fluently? Can you talk about all the things that are nearest and dearest to your heart in Italian?  Can you speak Italian the way you would speak in your native language, with complex and varied sentences? This is more difficult than it may seem at first, and it’s something that I am always working on! This series will focus on the situations that have come up most frequently in my everyday conversations with Italian instructors and friends. The “Speak Italian” blog series willfocus on the type of sentence structure and vocabulary we all need to remember to be more fluent when we speak Italian!

To take that giant step from simple beginning sentences to more complex and fluid sentences in Italian, we must know many things; in this segment, we will discuss  how to use possessive adjectives in Italian, phrases for storytelling, reciprocal reflexive verbs, and the special ways to say we love and miss someone using the Italian verbs volere and mancare !

Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!

In the “Speak Italian” blog series, a short essay or dialogue in Italian will be presented about a commonly used topic of conversation. Then, we will review the Italian grammar that is necessary to talk about the particular topic in detail. And finally, the same material will be presented in Italian and English, with blanks for the reader to fill in with descriptions from his or her own life! Remember these examples about yourself as “anchors” in your knowledge for when you must speak Italian in your next conversation!

Enjoy the third topic in this series, “Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!”
—Kathryn Occhipinti

This material is adapted from our textbook,  Conversational Italian for Travelers © 2012 by Stella Lucente, LLC, found on www.learntravelitalian.com . Special thanks to Italian language instructor Simona Giuggioli.

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Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!

In every life,  we experience many types of love—country, family, and of course, one’s own true love. So it is important to learn the special Italian phrases to speak about what we love. I’ve adapted the story of one of my grandmothers, who emigrated from Italy in the 1920s, into a short essay about her struggles in Italy and in America, and the love that she was able to find in her life. Of course, this material has been adapted to be a learning tool, and this essay is not meant to be a complete biography.

While reading about my grandmother’s three great loves—her countries, her family, and her husband—think about yourself and what you truly love. Read the grammar section if you like. Then, use the blank spaces in the form that follows to fill in the Italian for your own life! 

Speak Italian: A Story About… Love!

When I was young, when I was about 7 years old, I asked my grandmother to tell me her story. And this is what she said to me:

Da bambina, quando avevo cerca sette anni, ho chiesto a mia nonna di raccontarmi la sua storia.

E questo è quello che  mi ha detto:

My story is a story of many great loves. When I was young, I lived in Sicily, and I loved my town Ragusa very much. Ragusa is on top of a big mountain but is also near the sea. Every day I could see the sunrise and the sunset over the south of Sicily, and it was very beautiful! I loved Sicily very much!

La mia storia è una storia di tanti grandi amori. Quando ero giovane, ho vissuto in Sicilia e mi piaceva molto il mio paese che si chiama Ragusa. Ragusa è sopra una grande montagna ma  è anche vicino al mare. Ogni giorno potevo vedere l’alba e il tramonto sopra il sud della Sicilia ed era molto bello! Mi piaceva molto la Sicilia !

I had five brothers and sisters—two brothers and three sisters. I was the oldest in the family, and when I was 12 years old, I had to leave school. I had to help my mother take care of my sisters and my brothers. Before I went to bed, every night I said to my mother, “Do you love me?” And my mother replied, “I love you very much!”

Avevo cinque fratelli — due fratelli e tre sorelle. Ero la più grande nella famiglia e quando avevo dodici anni ho dovuto lasciare la scuola. Ho dovuto aiutare mia mamma a prendersi cura delle mie sorelle e dei miei fratelli . Prima di andare a letto , ogni notte dicevo a mia mamma, “ Mi vuoi bene ?” E mia madre diceva, “ Ti voglio molto bene !”

And at Ragusa, there was also a boy named Peter who was 2 years older than me. Peter grew up on the same street as my family. When he became older, Peter was tall and handsome, a good person, and was very nice to me. I loved him. I became his girlfriend, but in secret.

Ed a Ragusa c’era anche un ragazzo che si chiamava Pietro che aveva due anni più di me. Pietro è cresciuto nella stessa strada della mia famiglia. Da grande, Pietro è diventato alto e bello, bravo , ed era molto simpatico con me. L’amavo . Sono diventata la sua ragazza, ma in segreto.

Peter’s father, Paul, was also a good person and decided to make a better life for his family and go to America. In 1916, when Peter was 16 years old, Paul brought the family to America. There was a lot of work for Paul, who was a bricklayer and helped to build many buildings that are still well known in New York today. Peter’s father made a lot of money, and the family was very well off.

Il padre di Pietro, Paolo, era anche una persona perbene e ha deciso di migliorare la vita della sua famiglia e di andare in America. Nel millenovecentosedici, quando Pietro aveva sedici anni, Paolo ha portato la famiglia in America. C’era molto lavoro per Paolo, chi era un muratore e ha aiutato a costruire tanti palazzi ancora ben conosciuti a New York oggi. Il padre di Pietro ha fatto tanti soldi e la famiglia stava molto bene .

Peter also worked every day and learned his father’s trade. But Peter was not happy. He wrote me in many letters that New York was ugly. He missed his beautiful Sicily. He missed me! In Sicily, I missed Peter!

Anche Pietro lavorava ogni giorno e imparava il mestiere da suo padre. Ma, Pietro non era contento. Lui mi ha scritto in tante lettere che New York era brutta.  A lui mancava la sua bella Sicilia. Anche, io gli mancavo ! Mentre in Sicilia, mi mancava Pietro ! 

This continued for many years.

Continuava cosi per tanti anni.

Finally, Peter wrote a letter to my father and asked him to take me to America to get married (marry me).

Finalmente, Pietro ha scritto una lettera a mio padre e l’ha c hiesto di portarmi in America per sposarmi.

At first, my father had said, “Absolutely not!”

Al inizio, mio padre ha detto, “Assolutamente no!”

But I wanted to go to America and marry Peter. I loved Peter very much. Every day, I cried. I did not eat anything. My mother said to my father, “How sad Maria is! You must take her to America!”

Ma volevo andare in America e sposarmi con Pietro.  L’amavo tanto . Ogni giorno, piangevo. Non mangiavo niente. Mia madre ha detto a mio padre, “Come triste è Maria! Devi portarla in America!”

And finally, he did it!

E finalmente, lui l’ho fatto!

Peter and I were married, and we had three children: two boys and one girl. We moved to a small town north of New York City, where there are mountains and it is very pretty.

Pietro ed io ci siamo sposati e abbiamo avuto tre figli :  due figli maschi e una figla femmina . Abbiamo traslocati a un piccolo paese a nord di New York, dove ci sono le montagne ed è molto bello.

Today, I feel very fortunate and happy because I have my three great loves: my new country, my husband, and my family!

Oggi, mi sento molto fortunata e contena perché ho i miei tre grandi amori: il mio paese nuovo, mio marito, e la mia famiglia!

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Speak Italian: Grammar You Will Need to Know…

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

How to Use Italian Possessive Adjectives to Describe Things

1. The definite article ( il, la, i, or le) must be added before the possessive adjective when we describe the things that we possess . In this case, both the definite article and the possessive adjective will match the gender and number of the noun that is being modified. Remember, in Italian, we do not think about who is doing the possessing, but about what is being possessed!

Singular		Plural
il mio/ la mia	my	i miei/ le mie
il tuo/ la tua	your (familiar) singular	i tuoi/ le tue
il  suo*/ la sua*	your (polite)* singular his, her, its	i suoi*/ le sue*
il nostro/ la nostra	our	i nostri/ le nostre
il vostro/l a vostra	your (familiar) plural	i vostri/ le vostre
il loro/ la loro	their	i loro*/ le loro*

*For “polite your ,” simply capitalize, as in, “il Suo amico”or “la Sua amica.”

2. It should be noted that the definite article can be omitted if the speaker wants to emphasize ownership of a particular thing when using the verb essere. If someone wants to stress his ownership of a car, for instance, he would simply say, “È mia”for “(It) is mine,”and omit the definite article laand the word macchina. In English, we use mineinstead of my, oursinstead of our, and yoursinstead of yourafter the verb “to be” in a similar way. This is called the stressed form of the possessive adjective.

3. Also, the expression “a casa mia,”with the possessive adjective placed alone, after the noun, is idiomatic and means “at/to my house.”The other possessive forms can be used as well with this phrase, as in “a casa tua” (at your house)or “a casa sua” (at his/her house). And it can always be  “colpa mia,”or “my fault.”                            

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

How to Use Italian Possessive Adjectives with Family Members

1. When speaking of only one family member , do not use the definite article!

        mio cugino = my cousin

2. When speaking of more than one family member, the definite article must be used.

i miei cugini = my cousins

3. If using an adjective to describe family members , the definite article must be used.

“Caterina è la mia cara cugina.” = “Kathy is my dear cousin.”

mio/mia	my	i miei/ le mie
tuo/tua	your (familiar) singular	i tuoi/ le tue
suo/sua	your (polite) singular/his/her/its	i suoi/ le sue
nostro/nostra	our	i nostri/ le nostre
vostro/vostra	your (familiar) plural	i vostri/ le  vostre
il loro/ la loro	their	i loro/ le loro

mia madr e	my mother
(la) mia mamm a	my mom
mia sorell a	my sister(s)	le mie sorell e
mia nonn a	my grandmother(s)	le mie nonn e
mia zi a	my aunt(s)	le mie zi e
mia figli a	my daughter(s)	le mie figli e
mia cugin a	my female cousin(s)	le mie cugin e

mio padr e	my father
(il) mio papà	my dad
mio fratell o	my brother(s)	i miei fratell i
mio nonn o	my grandfather(s)	i miei nonn i
mio zi o	my uncle(s)	i miei zi i
mio figli o	my son(s)	i miei figl i
mio cugin o	my cousin(s)	i miei cugin i

4. Always use il mio fidanzatoor la mia fidanzatafor a boyfriend/fiancéor girlfriend/fiancée who are not yet part of the family! This also applies to la mia ex moglieand il mio ex marito, my ex-wifeand my ex-husband.

5. If a pet, or animale domestico, such as a cat or a dog, is a part of your family, use the definite article when referring to them. So, my cator my dogwould be  il mio gatoor il mio cane. The endings of the nouns that refer to animals do not need to be changed to match their gender. But, if it is important to emphasize that you have a male or a female animal, see below:

il gato	il mio gato	the cat	my cat (any gender or a male cat)
il mio gato	il mio gato maschio	the male cat	my male cat
la mia gata	la mia gata femmina	the female cat	my female cat

il cane	il mio cane	the dog	my dog (any gender or a male dog)
il mio cane	il mio cane maschio	the male dog	my male dog
la mia cagna	la mia cagna femmina	the female dog	my female dog

6. When speaking in Italian of two family members or objects of the same gender and number, link them with the word “and,”which is “e”in Italian. The possessive pronoun does not need to be repeated. That said, the tendency in Italian is to repeat the possessive pronoun anyway.

The possessive pronoun must be used for each person/thing linked with the word “and” when the gender or number of the person/thing differs .

Note that in English, it is not necessary to repeat the word “my,” although “my” can be repeated to emphasize that one is speaking of two different types of groups.

mio fratello e cugino or mio fratello e mio cugino	my brother and cousin
mio fratello e mia sorella	my brother and sister
mio fratello e i miei cugini	my brother and my cousins

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

How to Talk about Siblings and Children

1. When talking about siblingsin Italian, the idea is expressed with the Italian plural word fratelli. This masculine plural noun refers to a group of all male siblings and to a group of both male and female siblings. Therefore, the number of brothers and sisters must be specified in the next sentence—and all endings changed into either masculine or feminine.

Remember to use un fratellofor one male sibling and una sorellafor one female sibling.

Ho due fratelli.	I have two siblings (brothers and sisters or just brothers).
Ho un fratello e una sorella.	I have one brother and one sister.

Remember to use fratellifor a group of brothers and sorellefor a group of sisters.

Ho cinque fratelli.	I have five siblings (brothers and sisters or just brothers).
Ho due fratelli e tre sorelle.	I have two brothers and three sisters.

2. When talking about one’s own or someone else’s childrenin Italian, the idea is expressed with the Italian plural word figli(which otherwise means sons). This masculine word refers to a group of all male children and to a group of both male and female children. It then becomes necessary to use additional nouns to categorize the children as male or female in the next sentence, and all endings must be changed into either masculine or feminine.

Remember to use uno figlio maschiofor one male child and una figlia femminafor one female child.

Ho due figli.	I have two children./I have two boys and girls.
Ho un figlio maschio e una figlia femmina.	I have one boy and one girl.

Remember to use figli maschifor a group of male children and  figlie femminefor a group of female children.

Ho cinque figli.	I have five children./I have five boys and girls.
Ho due figli maschi e tre figlie femmine.	I have two brothers and three sisters.

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Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

When to use “Che” to Connect Phrases in Italian

“Che” has many meanings in Italian,and is used in many ways.  This little word will come up often in spoken and written Italian.  The first and probably most important meaning that is found in most every dictionary, though, is the conjunctive  “that.”  While in English, many times we leave out the word “that” when linking two phrases together to make a complex sentence, in Italian this word can almost never be omitted.

 A couple of important examples were underlined in are dialogue to make this point and are reprinted here.  Learning how and when to incorporate “che” into an Italian sentence will take one a long way to becoming fluent in Italian, so listen closely for this word!

1. To link the phrase “this is what” to a second phrase.

E questo è quello che  mi ha detto:
And this is what (that) she said to me:

        2. To mention something or someone and then give its actual name.

Mi piaceva molto il mio paese che si chiama Ragusa.
( Italian: I loved my town very much that is called Ragusa.)
I loved my town Ragusa very much.

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Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

When to use “Che” to Connect Phrases in Italian

“Che” has many meanings in Italian,and is used in many ways. Below are two more uses for the Italian word che,with two different meanings.

1. Cheis also commonly used as an interrogative expression meaning, “What?” “Che?” “Che cosa?”and “Cosa?”all mean “What?”in Italian, and are used interchangeably. Two of the most commonly spoken phrases where cheis used this way are below:

Che succede?	What’s happening?
Che è successo?	What happened?

2. And by now you have no doubt heard the exclamation, “Che bello!”which means, “How beautiful!”or “How wonderful!”from anyone who has seen the rolling hills of the Italian countryside or a famous work of Italian art or architecture. Additional examples are listed below.  In short, chewhen used in an exclamation of this type takes on the meaning of how. Of course, “Com’è bello?”means “How beautiful is it?”since the word comeis the most often used to mean how in most other situations.

Che bello!	How beautiful!	How wonderful!
Che brutta (figura)!	How ugly!	How terrible!
Che fortuna!	How lucky!	What good fortune!

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Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

How to Say “I Love You” in Italian

“Ti voglio bene”is an idiomatic expression in Italian, which translates roughly as, “I wish you well,”or better, “I care for you.”  It originates from the verb volersi, which takes on a different meaning than the verb volere.  The meaning of this verb is not easily translated into English, but is used often in Italy for many different situations.

“Ti voglio bene”is an old expression that is still used for platonic forms of caring and loving among family members and close friends in Italy today. The expression can be used between a boyfriend and a girlfriend and is also used between a husband and a wife. Watch some older Italian movies, and you will hear this expression often!

Mi voui bene?	Do you care for/about me?
Ti voglio bene.	I care for/about you.

The verb amare, which means “to love,”is reserved for romantic love—that one true love held between fiancée and fiancé, wife and husband.

Mi ami?	Do you love me?
Ti amo.	I love you.
Ti amo per sempre.	I will always love you.

Finally, some phrases for when you have fallen out of love:

Non ti voglio più bene.	I don’t like/care for you anymore.
Non ti amo più.	I don’t love you anymore.

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

Common Phrases to Begin a Story Paragraph

Da giovane…	When I was young…
Da grande…	When I grew up…
Quando ero più vecchio(a)…	When I was older…

Nel 1928…	In 1928…
C’era una volta… Una volta c’era…	Once upon a time… In the past there was… / Once there was…
Allora…	In those days…

Per prima cosa…	For the first thing…
Dapprima…	Initially…
Prima…/Poi…	First…/Then…
Prima o poi…	Sooner or later…

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

Verbs That Take the Preposition “A”

Some Italian verbs need to be followed by the Italian word “a,”which in this case means “to,”before the addition of an infinitive verb to make a complete sentence. This may seem a little redundant at first, because in English, a verb in its infinitive form already includes the word “to.” To the Italian speaker, though, it is natural to insert the word a after the verbs on the list that follows—the phrases just sound correct this way.

Two important phrases to remember that use this rule are  “andare a trovare” (“to go to visit”)and “venire a trovare” (“to come to visit”), which are used when visiting a person . The noun visitarecan be used when you want to speak about a place you are visiting .

Don’t memorize this list, but instead try to listen for the “a”when these phrases come up in conversation, and soon it will become natural for you, also, to say these phrases correctly.

aiutare	to help	Aiuto mia mamma a … cucinare la cena.
andare	to go	Vado a … trovare mio cugino Pietro in Italia.
cominciare	to start	Comincio a … cucinare la cena.
divertirsi	to enjoy oneself	Mi divertito a … suonare il violino.
imparare	to learn	Tutti imparano a … parlare italiano.
insegnare	to teach	Lei insegna a … parlare la lingua francese.
invitare	to invite	Lui l’invita a … mangiare al ristorante.
mandare	to send	Io mando Pietro a … prendere una pizza.
prepararsi	to get ready	Mi preparo a … viaggiare in Italia.
venire	to come	Caterina viene a … trovare i suoi cugini.

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

Reciprocal Reflexive Verbs, Including Sposarsi

Reciprocal reflexive verbs are used in the special situation when two people perform the same action together; this will make both people the subject of the action. Therefore, the reciprocal reflexive verbs are conjugated in their plural form, using the plural subject and reflexive pronouns: (noi) ci, (voi) vi, or (loro) si. For conversation, the noiand loroforms will be the most important to remember. To express this type of situation in English, we simply add the phrase “each other,”after the verb.

Here is how this verb form works: for instance, everyone knows that  “Ci vediamo”means  “We (will) see each other.” So if the speaker is involved in the action with someone else— we are doing the action—use the noiverb conjugation and put ciin front of the verb.

Another common phrase is  “Si abbracciano e si baciano,”which means  “They hug and kiss each other.” If two people are being talked about— they are doing the action—use the loroverb conjugation and put siin front of the verb.

A quick word about sposarsi. It is one of those reflexive verbs that translates as “to get” married. We talked about these “to get” verbs in the last blog in this series. So if a person wants to say, “I want to get married”in Italian, this would be  “(Io) voglio sposarmi.”

As we know, the subject pronouns are almost always omitted in conversation, and this applies to reciprocal reflexive verbs as well—hence the parentheses in the examples that follow!

Io e Francesca ci vogliamo bene.	Frances and I care for each other very much.
(Noi) Ci sposiamo oggi.	We (will) marry each other today.
(Noi) Ci scriviamo ogni giorno.	We write each other every day.
(Noi) Ci vediamo al teatro.	We (will) see each other at the theater.
(Noi) Ci vogliamo bene.	We love each other very much.

Caterina e Zia Rosa si salutano.	Kathy and Aunt Rose greet each other .
Michele e Francesca si volgiono bene.	Michael and Frances care for each other very much.
(Loro) si vogliono bene.	(They) care for each other very much.
(Loro) Si incontrano.	They meet each other .
(Loro) Si telefonano ogni giorno .	They telephone each other every day.

Listed below are verbs that commonly use the reciprocal reflexive form:

abbracciarsi	to hug each other
aiutarsi	to help each other
amarsi	to love each other
baciarsi	to kiss each other
chiamarsi	to call each other
conoscersi	to get to know each other
fidanzarsi	to become engaged
guardarsi	to look at each other
incontrarsi	to meet each other (planned meeting)
odiarsi	to hate each other
parlarsi	to speak to each other
salutarsi	to greet each other
scriversi	to write each other
sposarsi	to marry each other
telefonarsi	to call each other
trovarsi	to meet each other
vedersi	to see each other

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

Passato Prossimo Verbs That Take Essere

Here is a list of the most common action verbs that take esserewhen forming the passato prossimo, which is the verb form used to describe going from one place to another or “passing through” life—growing/living/dying. The infinitive form is in the first column, and the corresponding past participle is listed in the third column; notice that some past participles will be regular and others irregular.

It should also be noted that all reflexive verbs , as well as piacere, take essere.

accadere	to happen	accaduto(a)(i,e)	happened
andare	to go	andato(a)(i,e)	went
arrivare	to arrive	arrivato(a)(i,e)	arrived
cadere	to fall	caduto(a)(i,e)	fell
cambiare	to change	cambiato(a)(i,e)	changed
cominciare+	to begin	cominciato(a)(i,e)	began
diventare	to become	diventato(a)(i,e)	became
entrare	to enter	entrato(a)(i,e)	entered
finire+	to finish	finito(a)(i,e)	finished
iniziare+	to begin	iniziato(a)(i,e)	began
morire	to die	morto(a)(i,e)	dead
nascere	to be born	nato(a)(i,e)	born
partire	to leave	partito(a)(i,e)	left
passare*	to pass through	passato(a)(i,e)	past
piacere	to be pleasing to	piaciuto(a)(i,e)	pleased
restare	to remain	restato(a)(i,e)	remained
rompere	to break	rotto(a)(i,e)	broken
salire*	to go up	salito(a)(i,e)	went up
scendere*	to do down	sceso(a)(i,e)	went down
succedere	to happen	successo(a)(i,e)	happened
uscire	to go out	uscito(a)(i,e)	went out
venire	to come	venuto(a)(i,e)	came

+Some verbs, such as cominciare, finire, and iniziare, take avere except when the subject is a thing, rather than a person. So as we have learned in Chapter 11 of Conversational Italian for Travelers , “Io ho finito il libro,” “Tu hai finito il libro,”and “Lei/lui ha finito il libro,” but  “Il film è finito,”for  “The film is finished.” Notice that in the last example, the verb itself completes the sentence and refers back to the subject. ( Finireis categorized as transitive in all of the examples except the last, when it is intransitive, but don’t worry about these terms!)

*Some verbs, such as passare, scendere, and saliretake averewhen used with a direct object, as in  “Io ho sceso le scale”for  “I have gone down the stairs.” Otherwise, they use essere:  “Lui è sceso”for  “He has gotten off.”

Grammar Point: Reflexive Verbs with the Passato Prossimo

All reflexive verbs form the passato prossimowith essere. Simply put the reflexive pronoun before essereand follow esserewith the past participle as usual. Remember to change the ending of the past participle to reflect the gender of the person doing the action. See the example below with divertirsi (to enjoy oneself). With all the good times a visitor to Italy can expect, divertirsiis an essential verb to know in several different tenses!

Notice that the translation in English uses the verb to have, while Italian uses to be. So remember to think in Italian in this case!

io	mi sono	diver ti to(a)	I have enjoyed myself. I enjoyed myself.
tu	ti sei	divertito(a)	You (familiar) have enjoyed yourself. You (familiar) enjoyed yourself.
Lei/lei/lui	si è	divertito(a)	You (polite)/she/he have/has enjoyed herself/himself. You (polite)/she/he enjoyed herself/himself.
noi	ci siamo	divertit i(e)	We have enjoyed ourselves. We enjoyed ourselves.
voi	vi siete	divertit i(e)	You all have enjoyed yourselves. You all enjoyed yourselves.
loro	si sono	divertit i(e)	They have enjoyed themselves. They enjoyed themselves.

Grammar Point: Modal Verbs with Essereand the Passato Prossimo

We have seen how to use the modal verbs dovere, potere, and volereif the passato prossimois formed with avere. The sequence to use is the same with essere; essereis conjugated to reflect the speaker, the past participle of the modal verb is added, and then the infinitive of the verb finishes the verb phrase.

There is one catch, though. Remember that we must change the past participle of the verbs that follow essereto reflect the gender of the speaker.  In this case, the past participle is formed from the modal verb, so the ending of the modal verb must change !

Pietr o è volut o partire alle sei stasera.
Peter wanted to leave at 6 tonight.
Caterin a è dovut a andare a fare la spesa ieri.
Kathy had to go grocery shopping yesterday.

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

When to Use the Passato Prossimo versus the Imperfetto

Here is a table to clarify the differences of the uses of the passato prossimoand the imperfettopast tense verb forms. Both will describe actions or events that have taken place in the past. The circumstances that surround each event determine the form to use. When narrating a story, use the imperfetto.

Past action that took place once.	Past action that was habitual; done several times.
Stamattina ho telefonato a mia mamma. This morning I called my mother.	Telefonavo a mia mamma ogni mattina. I used to call my mother every day.
Past action that was performed a specific number of times.	Past action that took place over an extended period of time.
Sono andata dal medico per tre giorni di fila. I went to the doctor for 3 days in a row.	Andavo dal medico raramente quando ero giovane. I went to the doctor rarely when I was young.

Past action that was performed within a definite time period.	Past action that was performed within an indefinite time period, without a specific beginning and ending mentioned.
L’anno scorso è andato a scuola. Last year he went to school.	Da giovane, andava volentieri a scuola. When he was young, he used to go to school gladly.
Past states of being/having of a person or a thing in a specific time frame.	Past states of being/having of a person or a thing ( essereor avereused alone).
Ieri ho avuto fame tutto il giorno. Yesterday I had hunger all day long. (English: I was hungry.) Caterina è stata molto felice il giorno del suo compleanno. Kathy was very happy on her birthday.	Io avevo fame. I used to have/had hunger. (English: I used to be/was hungry.) Caterina era felice. Kathy used to be/was happy.

Mentre nostro figlio dormiva, abbiamo guidato per molte ore.

While our son was sleeping, we drove for many hours.

Speak Italian: You Will Need to Know…

How to Conjugate and Use Mancare

The verb mancarehas many meanings: to miss/to lose/to lack/to be lacking/to omit/to fail.  Mancareis used to convey the idea of “to misssomeone” very commonly in conversational Italian, so it is important to learn the conjugation and sentence structure for this verb.

To start off, you should know that the sentence structure used for mancareis the same as for the verb piacere(see the second blog in this series). In English, we say the subject of the sentence misses someone using the direct object (example: I miss John), whereas in Italian, this phrase is turned around and the subject is the person who is being missed .

The sentence structure in Italian can use the disjunctive pronoun.

example “I miss John”: John is missing to me .  = Giovanni manca a me .

But more often, the Italian sentence uses the indirect object pronoun placed before the verb.

example “I miss John”: (John) to me is missing. =  (Giovanni) Mi manca.

To make matters more confusing to the English speaker, the subject of the sentence—which can be somebody’s name, a subject pronoun, a place, or even an object—can be left out entirely as long as it is known from the context, as we see above.

But, in most cases the subject is then added to the end of the sentence for clarification.

example: “I miss John”:  To me is missing John. = Mi manca Giovanni.

Think about this a bit and then read the present tense conjugation below. Notice that the tuand noiforms are irregular. These are marked with an asterisk.

Mancare /To Be Missing (To)

io	man co	I am missing (to…)
tu	man chi*	you (fam.) are missing (to…)
Lei lei/lui	man ca	you (polite) are missing (to…) she/he/it is missing (to…)
noi	man chi amo*	we are missing (to…)
voi	man ca te	you all are missing (to…)
loro	man cano	they are missing (to…)

The past tense of mancareis regular in the passato prossimoand takes essere.  The passato prossimo form is often used.  Consider the phrase “I missed you!” This implies that a definite period of absence has passed, and now the individuals are able to finally talk about their feelings. This is the past tense form for mancarethat is most commonly used during conversation.

See below for the passato prossimoconjugation of mancare:

sono sei, è, with mancato(a)
siamo, siete sonowith mancati(e)

The imperfettoform of mancareis regular as well, and is used most often for narration, as in our example story. In this case, the reference is to a nonspecific amount of time that people missed each other in the past.

See below for the imperfettoconjugation of mancare:

mancavo, mancavi, mancava
mancavamo, mancavate, mancavano

The sentences below give some common examples of how to use the verb mancare, first in present tense and then in past tense, with the passato prossimo. For easier understanding, the subject pronouns are included in parentheses, but remember that they are most often left out of the sentence, unless needed for clarification.

(Tu) Mi manchi.	You are missing to me.	I miss you.
(Lei/Lui) Mi manca.	She/he is missing to me.	I miss her/him.

(Io) Ti manco?	(Am I) missing to you?	(Do you) miss me?
(Lei/Lui) Ti manca?	(Is she/he) missing to you?	(Do you) miss her/him?

(Io) Gli manco.	I am missing to him.	He misses me.
(Io) Le manco.	I am missing to her.	She misses me.
(Tu) Gli manchi.	You are missing to him.	He misses you.
(Tu) Le manchi.	You are missing to her.	She misses you.
Gli manca (Maria) .	Maria is missing to him.	He misses Maria.
Le manca (Maria) .	Maria is missing to her.	She misses Maria.
Gli manca (Paolo).	Paul is missing to him.	He misses Paul.
Le manca (Paolo).	Paul is missing to her.	She misses Paul.

**********************************************************************************

(Tu) Mi sei mancato(a).	You were missed to me.	I missed you.
(Lei/Lui) Mi è mancato(a).	She/he was missed to me.	I missed her/him.

(Io) Ti sono mancto(a)?	(Was I) missed to you?	(Did you) miss me?
(Lei/Lui) Ti è mancato(a)?	(Was she/he) missed to her/him?	(Did you) miss her/him?

(Io) Gli sono mancato(a).	I was missed to him.	He missed me.
(Io) Le sono mancato(a).	I was missed to her.	She missed me.
(Tu ) Gli sei mancato(a).	You were missed to him.	He missed you.
(Tu) Le sei mancato(a).	You were missed to her.	She missed you.
Gli è mancata (Maria) .	Maria was missed to him.	He missed Maria.
Le è mancata (Maria) .	Maria was missed to her.	She missed Maria.
Gli è mancato (Paolo).	Paul was missed to him.	He missed Paul.
Le è mancato (Paolo) .	Paul was missed to her.	She missed Paul.

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Speak Italian: A Story about… YOUR Great Loves!

Everyone has a story to tell about themselves. What would you like others to know about what you find important in life? What are your great loves? Fill in the blanks in the Italian sentences in the exercise below, using examples from your own life.

Speak Italian: A Story about… Your Great Loves!

When I was young, when I was about 7 years old, I asked my grandmother to tell me her story. And this is what she said to me:

Da bambina, quando avevo ann i , ho chiestodi raccontarmi la sua storia.

E questo è quello che mi ha detto:

My story is a story of many great loves. When I was young, I lived in Sicily, and I loved my town of Ragusa very much. Ragusa is on top of a big mountain but is also near the sea. Every day I could see the sunrise and the sunset over the south of Sicily, and it was very beautiful! I loved Sicily very much!

La mia storia è una storia di ________________________________________________________________.

Quando ero, ho vissutoe mi piaceva molto il mio paese che si chiama È __

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________.

Ogni giorno potevo vedere ed era molto bello! Mi piaceva molto !

I had five brothers and sisters—two brothers and three sisters. I was the oldest in the family, and when I was 12 years old, I had to leave school. I had to help my mother take care of my sisters and my brothers. Before I went to bed, every night I said to my mother, “Do you love me?” And my mother replied, “I love you very much!”

Avevo fratelli— fratelli e sorelle. Ero nella famiglia e quando avevo dodici anni .

Ho dovuto aiutare . Prima di andare a letto , ogni notte dicevo a mia mamma, “ Mi vuoli bene ?” E mia madre diceva, “ Ti voglio molto bene !”

And at Ragusa, there was also a boy named Peter who was 2 years older than me. Peter grew up on the same street as my family. When he became older, Peter was tall and handsome, a good person, and was very nice to me. I loved him. I became his girlfriend, but in secret.

Ed a Ragusa c’era anche un ragazzo(a) che si chiamava che aveva anni più di me.   è cresciuto nella stessa strada della mia famiglia.

Da grande, è diventato(a) , ed era molto simpatico con me. L’amavo(a) . Sono diventata(o) la sua ragazza(o), ma in segreto.

Peter’s father, Paul, was also a good person and decided to make a better life for his family and go to America. In 1916, when Peter was 16 years old, Paul brought the family to America. There was a lot of work for Paul, who was a bricklayer and helped to build many buildings that are still well known in New York today. Peter’s father made a lot of money, and the family was very well off.

Il padre di , Paolo, era anche una persona per bene e ha deciso di migliorare la vita della sua famiglia e di andare in America. Nel , quando aveva anni, Paolo ha portato la famiglia in America. C’era molto lavoro per Paolo, chi era e ha aiutato a . Il padre di ha fatto tanti soldi e la famiglia stava molto bene .

Peter also worked every day and learned his father’s trade. But Peter was not happy. He wrote me in many letters that New York was ugly. He missed his beautiful Sicily. He missed me! In Sicily, I missed Peter!

Anche lavorava ogni giorno e imparava il mestiere da suo padre. Ma, non era contento. Lui(Lei) mi ha scritto in tante lettere che era brutta.  A lui(lei) mancava la sua bella Sicilia.

Anche, io gli(le) mancavo !  Mentre in , mi mancava !

This continued for many years.

Continuava cosi per tanti anni.

Finally, Peter wrote a letter to my father and asked him to take me to America to get married (marry me).

Finalmente, ha scritto una lettera a e
l’ha chiesto di portarmi in America per sposarmi.

At first, my father had said, “Absolutely not!”

Al inizio, ____________________________________________________________________________________________.

But I wanted to go to America and marry Peter. I loved Peter very much. Every day, I cried. I did not eat anything. My mother said to my father, “How sad Maria is! You must take her to America!”

Ma volevo andare in America e sposarmi con .  L’amavo tanto . 

Ogni giorno, .
Mia madre ha detto a mio padre, “Come triste è !

Devi portarla(lo) in America!”

And finally, he did it!

E finalmente, lui l’ho fatto!

Peter and I were married, and we had three children—two boys and one girl. We moved to a small town north of New York City, where there are mountains and it is very pretty.

ed io ci siamo sposati e abbiamo avuto figli — figli maschi e figla femmina . Abbiamo traslocati a , dove ci sono
ed è molto bello.

Today, I feel very fortunate and happy because I have my three great loves: my new country, my husband, and my family!

Oggi, mi sento molto fortunata e contena perché ho i miei tre grandi amori:

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________.

-Kathryn Occhipinti

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Kathryn Occhipinti, MD, is the author of the
Conversational Italian for Travelers series of books and a teacher of  Italian for travelers to Italy in the Peoria and Chicago area.
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Speak Italian – A Story About… Love!